'You Are Grounded!'

Do those words bring up any memories for you? Were you ever punished as a child for making mistakes? Maybe they were huge mistakes and deserved being punished for it. But I'd like to propose a new concept on what this means from a parenting perspective and how, if we were supported in the best way as children, we wouldn't have needed to be punished at all.

Let's look at the definition of grounded. Merriam-Webster defines grounded as mentally and emotionally stable. When we think of a person who is grounded, we think of a person with a mental and physical state of confidence who is sure of themself. If I was to tell an adult you are grounded", it means that they are seeing things with common sense and have a clear grasp of the situation.

As a mother I have redefined what it means to ground my kids. When they make mistakes it is my responsibility to explain things to them so that they develop a good sense of the situation and understand how to do better if they make a mistake. My job is to ensure they have the most self confidence and self assurance. If I just get angry and resort to reaction and use punishment, then I am actually not teaching them how to have common sense. In fact, what I am teaching them is to react to their mistakes negatively and potentially resent me and fear making mistakes in the future.

We are meant to learn from making mistakes. Otherwise, how else will we figure out something new? So it makes perfect sense that we, as parents, must show our kids how to figure things out for themselves through grounding them with knowledge so that they develop into highly effective and stable adults.

 

- Leah Spehar